Breaking Brad: March 28

On the news I thought I was watching a defendant walking into court holding his hands over his face so the cameras can't see him. Turns out it was Dana Altman arriving in Omaha for tonight's CBI game.

How awkward does Dana Altman feel playing Creighton in Omaha tonight? The only thing more awkward would be if Trev Alberts and Mike Denney somehow ended up sharing the same cab.

A woman was arrested at Boston Airport for smuggling cocaine inside a diaper. Initially airport security began by asking her why she was wearing a diaper. Of course the correct response should have been, "Have you been in an airliner bathroom?"

In Oakland the first "cannabis college" has opened; it's an actual university devoted to the use and science of marijuana. This sets up a good news/bad news scenario for parents. "Mom, Dad - good news. I was accepted into college. Now the bad news..."

How about all those upsets and Cinderella stories? Butler made it into the Final Four, VCU made the Final Four, Richmond made it into the Sweet 16, a victorious coalition military campaign was led by the French ...

A few weeks ago if someone told you that today Ohio State and Kansas would be done for the season and Creighton would still be playing basketball you would've had them committed.

Kentucky made the Final Four. The big concern now is that several of the players will turn pro before the title game.

On the heels of the no-fly zone there's an effort to create a "no-drive zone" in Libya. In order to make it literally impossible to drive anywhere, President Obama is going to put the Omaha Public Works Department in charge of Libyan street maintenance.

Another new goal in Libya — make it impossible for the leaders to communicate. So President Obama is switching all their calling plans to Verizon.

On April 15, a Civil War demonstration in Kearney is going to feature an "Abraham Lincoln impersonator." How lame are our elected leaders going to seem after we've been exposed to an Abraham Lincoln impersonator? You go from, "Four score and seven years ago" to "I hereby demand a 10 cent per roll toilet paper tax."

Over the weekend, Earth Hour was held to promote the environment. A very popular event. So many turned out for a ceremony in Brazil, 10 acres of the rain forest had to be leveled to create parking.

For Earth Hour, cities went dark for 60 minutes to encourage people to refrain from using non-essential electricity. Then at 8:30 everyone returned to their Play Stations, crawled under their electric blankets and played video poker on their 100,000 megabyte computers with "power boost."

We've learned from the Messenger rover that daytime temperatures on Mercury average 840 degrees F and nighttime temps dip down to -356 F. In Omaha we call temperature shifts that dramatic "spring."

Dan Quayle said there's no reason President Obama can't play golf and run the country at the same time. Then Quayle attempted to demonstrate by walking and chewing gum at the same time, but screwed up and had to start over.

According to a man-on-the-street survey, 29 percent of people in this country could not name the vice president. In these surveys people keep getting dumber. Where does it end? In 2025 when according to a survey 17 percent of Americans don't know their own names?

A fire broke out at the Miami airport as a flight was boarding. Fortunately because it was Miami, 95 percent of passengers were old enough for pre-boarding and were already on the plane.

There's more fallout over that sleeping air traffic controller at Ronald Reagan Airport. Here's my question: Why was there only one controller on duty at a major international airport? Last night I went to 7-Eleven and there were six guys behind the counter.

Singer Chris Brown trashed a room backstage at "Good Morning America." You know how derivative early morning TV is. Now Brown has been invited to trash rooms at the "Today" show and "CBS Morning Show."

A small meteorite crashed through the ceiling of an examination room at a Virginia medical office. Ironically, when the meteorite crashed into the room at 3,000 miles per hour a patient was passing a kidney stone. "What the heck?"

According to a new study exercising or having sex can increase your chance of having a heart attack in the next few hours. This is expected to greatly reduce the number of Americans who exercise.

Detroit's population has dropped 25 percent in the past decade. Here's the really embarrassing thing for Detroit — lots of the people who left moved to Cleveland.

ABC is reportedly on the brink of canceling the soap "All My Children" which has been on the air 41 years. Which I think makes it the newest soap opera on television.

London may be getting a Harry Potter-themed hotel. This will address the acute shortage of Harry Potter-esque things in the world today.